Random acts of co-habitation

I think I'm getting old. I no longer appreciate the sound of salsa music at 3am, or when my flatmate consumes the entire bottle of Bombay Sapphire (my precious!) that was a present from my mum, or when I find random hungover people snoring on the couch every morning - or worse still in my bed (usually, mercifully, when I'm not also in it). Oh hang on a minute - I never liked those things.

I have no idea how but that's how my household has ended up recently. Ironically it's been inflicted on me by an older guy with two kids, a profile that naive little me always associated with responsiblity, reliability, self-sacrifice and other qualities that would be quite nice in a flatmate. Admittedly he works in a restaurant that is "Cuban by day, Italian by night", a culinary concept I have yet to get my head around, and has contributed nothing to the hygiene department of the house except a can of shaving cream (which has since been claimed by my colleague and therefore isnt't even a legitimate contribution).

Random co-habitation is one of the pitfalls of being young(ish), single and moving haphazardly to the opposite side of the world. I have always felt that it's very unjust - there are charities to assist other unfortunate victims of our social stereotypes - why not a foundation for the victims of enforced shared housing? When you think about it, it's the basis of society for those of us unlucky enough to still be students or Microserfs at this age.

Up until now though I have to say I've been exceptionally lucky - my former flatmate just happened to be a kind soul who wasn't averse to cleaning toilets or pulling hair out of the shower drain. But alas, you really don't know what you've got til it's gone, and it's certainly gone when I have bought my 16th roll of toilet paper and washed my 475th risotto-encrusted saucepan.

Unfortunately the city I live in is by all accounts hard enough to find a shared flat in let alone one for myself. I considered sleeping under my desk in the office - not too far a stretch from where I usually spend my sad lonely evenings anyway - but decided that I was a few empty gin bottles (possibly consumed by me this time) and dishwashing sessions away from that yet. Maybe.