Scary Puppets

There are not many things I hate about Sweden, but these puppets really scare me. There is a general obsession with puppets or 3D characters in Swedish advertising, including a particularly scary one where you see an innocent woman lying in bed and then she rolls over... and a horrible 3D man is snoozing peacefully between her and her husband, looking suspiciously like he wants to spoon with the unsuspecting couple. It's the stuff of nightmares.

Anyway, the picture above is my personal horror. That woman is utterly creepy. The animated commercial is part of a series (which always seem to involve champagne - it's kind of creepy in itself, this little parental couple that seem a bit stuck in the 70s prancing around their house like Mrs Robinson from The Graduate bestowing champagne on their innocent -- and much younger -- visitors...but I digress). The second ad in the series had the "woman" above, who I see now is apparently called Gunilla, proclaiming the miraculous effect that Com Hem broadband had on her life. "We get everything off the internet!" she cries, "That chair, even Ziggy!" she points to her son-in-law, also a creepy puppet of course. And then, she breaks into a laugh that is so utterly horrifying in an inexplicable way that even David Lynch would be scared. "HO HO HO" she says, holding her belly, looking at her family's inexpressive plastic faces. (Irina has dared to impersonate that laugh in the kitchen and nearly got a bowl of pasta thrown at her head for her troubles).

To add insult to injury, Com Hem has managed to get my name out of a database somewhere. The other day, as if they knew that I cowered under a blanket every time that ad is on TV, they dared to send me an envelope featuring a LIFE SIZED photo of one of those puppets' befreckled faces (not Gunilla at least, but her deranged looking son). The thought that those puppets could have a head as big as mine, and bodies to match, makes me cringe.

I stuck the picture to Irina's bedroom door. It's still there. Which might be scarier than the puppet itself.

UPDATE:
Once again the lovely Ludvig has come to my assistance. He also hates the "in bed" guy mentioned above. Ludvig tells me the scary character's name is Robert. Ludvig has a theory that Robert is the true subject of the Avalanches hit "Frontier Psychiatrist" -- the bit where they say I'm afraid that Dexter is criminally insane. ("They keep saying Dexter, but I'm sure they mean Robert," says Ludvig). I have found the mysterious Robert, screenshotted him from his elusive background, and pasted him here for easy identification. Now tell me, would YOU sleep with this...man??



P.S. The ad is menacingly called Robert in your whole house. By their own admission, even your kids aren't safe. We warned you.

SECOND UPDATE:

I forgot to say that my allergy to Swedish advertising-puppets has one strange exception that defies medical logic.

It's these guys. I think they're cute, the way they scrunch up their little noses. Oh no, they've finally beaten down my defences and got to me haven't they?